(Don’t) Passonmikequade!

With the recent success of the Cubs interim manager, Mike Quade, many Cubs fans are torn as to who should get the gig next year.  Lots of fans, while Lou was still here, thought it was a no brainer: get Sandberg up here and let’s roll!  Lots of other fans also thought trying to get Torre, LaRussa, Girardi, Bobby Valentine and the long list of others were no-brainers too.

However, now that the Cubs have posted a 9-5 record under Quade (an over .600 winning percentage) fans are wondering if perhaps Mike Quade shouldn’t be passed over and maybe he is the guy that should land the job for 2011.  Those that believe Quade should be given a shot if he finishes the season as strong as he’s started his shot as Cubs skipper are quite adamant about it and hope he does so and carries this success over to next year.  (Then again Cubs fans are always passionate in their beliefs of their Cubs no matter what those feelings are now aren’t they?)

The idea of Hendry’s buffoonery and Ricketts’ newness to the post and the fans’ new feeling of giving Quade a shot inspired this post.  Please enjoy this new development in the world that is known as The Chicago Cubs through the eyes of Disney’s “Pete’s Dragon”.

In this video and the parody script listed below it which you can use to read along in Cubs translation…Tom Ricketts will be played by Dr. Terminus and Jim Hendry is played by his shorter, older con-artist minion.  Ladies and gentleman, I give you “(Don’t) Passonmikequade!” (I suggest clicking the video window to open it in a second window and scrolling this page for parody lyrics)

Ricketts: Quick, who will they want to manage the team in 2011?

Hendry: Just pass on Mike Quade.

Ricketts: Just pass on my whatty?

Hendry: Pass on Mike Quade!

Ricketts: Got it. How wonderful to see your smiling faces again I…I’ve never known such warmth, such welcome, such loving hospitality

Man: Get out ya hack!

Man: And don’t bring those Milton Bradleys here again!

Woman: Go on back where you belong…Ameritrade!

Ricketts:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I sense enthusiasm I sense loving response
And that’s why I feel Wrigley is my home away from home
I’ve been making millions in my time at ‘Meritrade
Went to U of C and that’s right down the road
You’re gonna like us, No use in fightin’ us
Caray, Ernie, Billy Williams, let’s have statues surround the stadium!

Little Jeff Samardzija was so nice to visit
He comes and goes from Triple A when recalled

Man: Why doesn’t he stay there?

Ricketts: But through all the tips
You know who could manage this place
Make the call now, one name on my list
Why…..it’s…Get Joe Girardi, uh, Call up Joe Torre, no, no… Bring back ‘ol Dusty, uh, Try Alan Trammy, p…p…Persuade Bob Brenly Uh, Quick sign Jim Tracy, uh, Pass me a hottie? Oh, I know! I’ll Hire my daddy!

Cubs fans: No, don’t Pass on Mike Quade!

Ricketts: Of course, that’s what I meant to say

Woman: I thought we’d win, 2008 And then we got robbed!

Ricketts: Remember we’re losers who do thrive on your love!
I know Silva looks like he only drinks Buttermilk
Leads aren’t under firm control given to Marmol
Santo’s emotions, “Unreal” he does notion
New statues for Cub alliance
Forget we make losing a science

With L.A. we trade away
We couldn’t keep Ted here
Don’t know what to do with Sean Marshall

Cubs fans: You’ll probably ship him out

Ricketts: Ha, ha, yes we probably will…

Man: The issue is, no thanks to Jim our Cubs always stink!

Ricketts: But WE’RE here – the wins are coming!

Cubs fans: We’re gonna flush your BS down the troffs near the sinks!

Ricketts: Wait, listen, my specialties are Hand-shaking, public speaking, statue unveiling, beer guzzling Bleacher-bumming, sibling-having, spin-doctoring! And every other ‘whatever-ing’ you can think of! My friends, you are not giving me a chance!  We brought all of these free agents in from Tokyo! Japan.

Cubs fans: oooh…

Old Cub fan: Oh Ricketts, oh Ricketts, Ricketts, Ricketts, help me.

Ricketts: I hear someone. I hear someone calling me. A Cubs fan in need. A Cubs fans calling out to another great cubs fan. A service only I can provide. Madam, Tommy Ricketts is here to appease you.

Old Cubs fan: Ayye?

Ricketts: What’s your problem lady?

Old Cubs fan: Ayye?

Ricketts: How can I turn my back on such a dear woman? It’s the bleacher bum in me.

Old Cubs fan: I hear…Santo…yelling.
I hear…opponents…giggling.
I hear…fans…singing.

Ricketts: That’ll be exactly $150 madam. $75 a seat!

Old Cubs Fan: Oh, bless you Ricketts! Wait ’til next year! Wait ’til next year!

Ricketts: My decision can cure her! Did you hear her bless me while I blessed her too? How wonder I feel right here in my heart! And that’s what the baseball business is all about folks! People helping people. You should all get help!

(Hendry jumps up on Convention stage in disguise)

Ricketts: Gadzooks! What have we here?

Hendry: Oh, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. All I’m asking for is a miracle.

Ricketts: All he wants is a miracle! How can I deny him folks….IF he’s willing to pay for it, he’s gonna get it!

Hendry: 8 years for $136 million!

Ricketts: 8 years for $136 million!

(Ricketts pours Old Style into Hendry’s mouth out of a flask, Hendry begins to dance to Go Cubs Go!)

Woman: I trust him!

Woman: I believe he’ll hire the right guy!

Man: I’ll put my hard earned money for season tickets with no guarantees in his hands!

Ricketts: My friends you’ve seen a miracle!
And you’ll see many more, People will come pouring in to, see Wrigley!

Sosa failed testing?
Surely you’re jesting!
Keep those dimes and dollars mounting

Hendry: I’ll collect!

Ricketts: I’ll do the counting! Everyone who roots for us will strong and happy We’ll be getting more wins by the day!

Cubs fans: Yay!

Ricketts: Get them off waivers!
Need the right man to lead us
All of Cubs Nation’s gonna say…
To…
Buhh..Bring us Bobby V, no,
Raise up Frank Selee,
no, no, Dig up McCarthy,
Uh, Call Atlanta ’bout Bobby?,
p…p…Player/Coach Rami,
q…q…q…Call up Bill Dancy
… Hire Barbaro Garbey,
Go with Bud Bailey,
Sandberg’s the must be,
Help me Girardi,
Just get Joe Torre, I want my mommy…ha ha ha ha!

Hendry (whispers): Pass on Mike Quade

Cubs fans: Don’t Pass on Mike Quade!

Ricketts: I know.

Guess we’ll see how it plays out!  For now, yes…if Mike Quade finishes this season the way he’s started, I agree.  The guy should be given a shot and someone should suggest the Cubs (Don’t) Passonmikequade.  Go Cubs Go!